Should family be present when you propose?
Invite family to the proposal only if your partner would welcome their presence. Loving relatives does not mean wanting an audience for the question. A private proposal followed by a call, dinner, or later gathering can include family without changing the intimacy of the moment.
How do you find out what your partner wants?
Ask whether they imagine the question itself being private, then ask separately about a celebration afterward. Those are different preferences. Do not assume they want family watching because they enjoy family gatherings in general.
What should relatives know?
Give them a clear role and timing. If they are only joining afterward, explain that they should not arrive early or reveal the plan. Avoid making your partner responsible for managing everyone's feelings immediately after saying yes.
What if parents expect an invitation?
Explain that you are planning the experience around the couple's preferences. Offer another way to celebrate if you both want that. You do not need to invent a false explanation for choosing privacy.
What are people discussing on Reddit?
These related discussions inspired the topic. The answer above is original Proposal Tips guidance, not a quotation or a claim that Reddit users all agree.
A private proposal preference conflicts with family expectations.